Is it OK to bribe your children?

I hold my hands up in the air and bow my head in shame.

I am a chocoholic and I have an insatiable sweet tooth.

And I fear I am passing my affliction on to my children.

Recently I gave up refined sugar (no choc, no sweets, no cake, no biscuits - I was such fun to live with!) for Lent and boy was it an eyeopener.

I felt lethargic, I felt heavy headed. I totally did not feel myself.

But after a couple of weeks I started to feel great. Energetic, less moody, less fuzzy headed.

At the end of the 40-day trial, I ate a KitKat. After being off the crap for 3 weeks I felt like a chocolate monster had broken into my house, grabbed me by the hair and spun me around for a couple of minutes, then forced cotton wool into any available space in my head and proceeded to jump up and down on it for an hour.

If chocolate and 'sweet' stuff makes me feel that bad, I absolutely don't want that for my children.

We have a Friday is treat day in this house and they're pretty good about it on the whole but they are force fed rubbish whenever they visit grandma/nana/someone has a birthday at school/nursery.

They do eat really healthily. They actually request veggies for dinner and will snack on fruit and drink water.

But they do eat some rubbish too.

So, with all this in mind, I have made a bargain with Dan: If he gives up all treats for a week - 7 days - I will give him £1.

(It will actually be 2 weeks as Friday is treat day so he'll miss this one and have to wait for the next one, but sshhh don't tell).

His face lit up like I'd told him Santa is moving in to the house next door and we shook on it (he's going through a money phase at the moment. If he asks to count the jar of coppers that props open the door one more time . . .)

Anyway, the point is I feel I'm going about this entirely the wrong way and I'm looking for pointers. What do you do to limit the crap?

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I'm expecting some guests over

Today I am on my best behaviour as I am expecting guests from blogging community Secret's in the Sauce.

Anyone who is new here today, welcome welcome welcome, it's great to have you here.

I'm a British mum of two children - aged 6 and 3 - and recently gave up a stressful job as features editor on a daily newspaper to set up in business from home.

My children gripe about how I love my computer more than them and that I'm alllllllways tapping away instead of listening to them demand another yoghurt or to join in their wrestling match (did I mention one of my children is a girl?) but at least I now get to take them to school and nursery every morning and not waste valuable time shouting at other motorists on the motorway.

Really, it's great to have you all here and I thank you in advance for your comments.

For the uninitiated, Secret's in the Sauce is a 'sistahood' of bloggers all with one thing in mind - to support and encourage fellow bloggers with comments galore.

So if you're a regular here you are going to have to SHOUT LOUD to be heard today and if you're Dave Fowler, Turf Dad, Single Parent Dad or Blogger Dad you're going to have to tone down your comments, just this once. Tut, it's always the men isn't it . . .

And I'll leave you with this gem from my 6 year old son today:

"In the olden days, old ladies used to say that if you pulled a face and then the wind changed, you would stay like that.

"But that doesn't happen any more. The wind must be different or something, but it doesn't make your face stick any more.

"Or old ladies used to lie, I suppose it could have been that too."

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Surviving the naughty step. Or how one word has turned our 'difficult' little girl into an angel

We have turned a major parenting corner with our little girl.

I have made no bones about the fact that Mia has been a difficult child.

And I feel awful for saying that as she is also delightfully spirited, outgoing and full of life. That is something hubby and I would never ever want to change, but she has certainly been a challenge.

From hacking off her own hair, and shouting and screaming "I don't even like you a little bit" to redecorating the house with lipstick, peeing on the floor because 'it's funny' and swapping the Terrible Twos for the even more Terrible Threes.

Honestly, it's a wonder I'm still sane.

Her older brother was a model baby. If I explained to him why he shouldn't do something he would nod his little head and that would be it, he would go off and play with his jigsaw never to attempt said dangerous thing again.

When he was 3 and his little sister had just popped into the world, hubby and I were all 'this parenting thing's a lark. Got it all sorted. Don't know what all the fuss is about'.

Then Mia arrived and we discovered EXACTLY what all the fuss is about.

However, I bring you hope my friends.

My little girl with the big red 'difficult' label around her neck has changed.

Totally changed.

She is a delight to be with and I really look forward to me and her time.

So what changed?

What magical thing happened?

Well, we stopped using one word: We stopped calling her 'naughty'.

I know, I know, it seems so bloody obvious!

We never shouted it at her. It was almost an exasperated "Mia, why are you so naughty?" and I think she sucked it all up.
She would be stood there, Biro in hand having drawn all over her legs and her new shoes, almost willing me to get cross.
Also, for some time now she has been at pains to tell us that she is not a baby and that she is ready for the 'big class' in nursery school and she hates with a passion anything she considers to be remotely babyish.
So we have taken being good or bad out of the equation.

So now we say: "Mia, you're so grown up" or "well done, you're such a big girl" or "only babies do things like that. You're too grown up for that, aren't you?"

And I say this to you now, half weeping half laughing: by jimminy jove IT'S WORKED!

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Wordless Wednesday: Part girl/part mountain goat

I know children are pre-programmed to climb but honestly, she climbs everything.

We cannot pass a tree stump, a wall, a bench, a tree without her scaling it and proclaiming that she's the 'king of the castle'.

The garden wall, the composter and the kitchen table are all old hat now.

This is her new challenge . . .

(NOTE: Those are reflective bicycle armbands she has around her ankles. I'm thinking it's just best you don't ask).

See more of my Wordless Wednesdays (that are anything but wordless, let's be honest) or for others around the world, visit 5 Minutes for Mum.

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If I'm beaten up by angry teens, you'll know why . . .

My 3-year-old daughter and I had lunch together today, a lovely affair with mother and daughter chatting and laughing and watching the world go by.

Then a group of 4 teenagers came and sat behind us. Right behind us. Like back to back behind us.

And Mia decides that actually all this chat about what the prince wears when he marries The Little Mermaid pales into insignificance compared with this clutch of 18 or 19-year-olds.
So she stares. No actually, she STARES.

Then she says so loudly that even the shoppers outside the window we are sat next to must surely have heard her, let alone the boys behind: "Mummy, why has that boy got numbers in his head?"
He has a buzz cut with some shapes cut into the sides of his hair.
"I don't know Mia" I say quietly into my sandwich, willing WILLING her to turn around and stop with the staring.

"Well, ask him mummy. Ask the boy why he's got silly things on his head."

I calmly turn her around in her chair, oblivious as to whether the boys are seething or as embarrassed as I am.
Five minutes later they start playing music. It's some bland rap music and I'm assuming it's on their mobile phones, but to be honest I'm more preoccupied with the fact that Mia has shot round in her chair again and is practically leering at them again.

"Mummy, why are they playing music?"
Oh boy, why does she talk so LOUDLY?
"I don't know honey."
Pause. She looks on for a few seconds more then turns to me, cocks her little head to one side and announces:
"It's really quite rubbish music though isn't it?"

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Having A Lovely Time

Today I am posting over at Having a Lovely Time - a brilliant new UK website written by parents for parents to give the real skinny on family days out and holidays.

This family is out and about ALL THE TIME!

We love good old-fashioned fun.
And we absolutely love to discover new places to visit - whether it's a new forest to explore or a theme park that's actually worth the tears and tantrums in the car on the drive over.

We recently discovered the National Trust too and are totally hooked.

You can't beat picnics on the grass, under an ancient tree with a glorious building making up the view.
Of course, it helps when you take along a friend who's a great photographer . . .
Thanks Jane!

Please go visit the site and offer your support by leaving a comment.
It's a great idea and it's there for you.

NOTE: Gah, sorry, turned comments off by mistake . . . soz

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Wordless Wednesday: The chain gang

Is there anything more rewarding than learning to ride a bike as a child?

That feeling of freedom. The wind in your hair, the sun on your face and the chance to go faster than mummy feels comfortable with.

I learned to ride on a purple Chopper bike, with the gearstick on the crossbar and the groovy 'L'-shaped seat.

And I still have fond memories of zipping through fields and up country lanes when I could only have been 6 or 7.

Now my children are making those memories too - and it's just the best fun!

Except maybe the day when Mia 'got bored' half way around and mummy had to hunch over and wheel her bike the 15-minute walk home while she trotted alongside saying: "I just can't be expected to ride ALL THE TIME, mummy. Sometimes I just want to walk and rest my legs."

Hmm, quite.

That baby in the back seat gets the best deal, I'm telly you.

So do you have childhood memories of learning to ride a bike?

And how many guys coveted a BMX at the age of 9?!

Visit here for more of my Wordless Wednesdays.

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