And when she's a teen it will be pierced body parts ...

I was away with my son this weekend and my 4 year old daughter spent some quality time with her daddy.

And by quality time I mean she told him what to do, when to do it and how long he should do it for.

Hey, what do you mean she picked everything up from her mummy? . . .

Anyway, it's all 'mummy, mummy, mummy' at the moment and while it is lovely to be so wanted and to be the centre of someone's whole world, I do feel terribly sad for hubby who physically deflates when she refuses to let him do anything with her and demands me instead.

So they spent their 3 days swimming, and shopping, and buying new fish for our tank, having Sunday lunch together and generally bonding.

But when I came back oh boy did she want me to know how much she had missed me.

She clung on to me like her little life depended on it, chubby little fingers gripping into my back.

Then she pulls away and looks me square in the eyes and with the saddest face says; "You were so long mummy. I missed you. I MISSED you."

Lovely. Warm. Feeling.

Then her 4-step attention seeking plan kicked into action.

Oh brother.

1. The Wardrobe Change.

When I walked in the door she was ready for bed and wearing her pyjamas. 5 minutes later she comes down the stairs wearing her summer shorts, a t-shirt and a pair of princess socks which are 2 sizes too small for her.

There is also a slight whiff of glittery eyeshadow about her face.

The Change is so she can remind me how much fun we had when we all went away on holiday together.

Stab through the heart with a Guilt Memory.

2. You love me how much?

She keeps asking how much I love her. Every time I give an answer she says: "But I love you more than that."

So I venture: "I love you so my arms stretch all the way around the world."

Not to be outdone she responds with: "I love you all the way to the bottom of the ocean, into a whale's stomach, and all the way back out again."

I'm guessing that's a lot.

3. Let me write the ways of love you.

Clearly, simply telling me how much she loves me isn't enough.

She eventually goes to bed but insists she doesn't want to wear her pyjama top, she wants to wear her dressing gown.

I know she's up to something, but all I can think is fine fine, just go to bed already.
10 minutes later I'm regretting that ambivalence. She's back down stairs with a sheepish look on her face.

"What have you done?"
She opens up her dressing gown to reveal a 'tattoo' of me she has drawn on her chest in coloured crayons.

The magic baby wipes which can shift spag bol sauce from the skirting boards has no effect on it.

4. Bang.

Hubby and I are sitting having a cup of tea downstairs. It's about 9.30pm.

There is a loud bang from upstairs and I rush up to see what has happened.

Mia has fallen out of bed and is sleeping on the floor with the duvet in a heap around her.

I pick her up with soothing words, she wraps her arms around me and I put her back in bed.

Poor little thing.

I come back downstairs and tell hubby what happened.

He tuts and rolls his eyes. "She's just attention seeking," he says.

Blimey, she is GOOD!

Read more...

The Gallery: Outside my front door

I am so lucky because just outside my front door there is a world of fields, gnarled trees, hedgerows and wild flowers and all just a short journey away.
OK, so they're not exactly outside my front door, but these places are where we as a family spend a lot of our time.
They are our sanctuaries. They are places the children can run and climb and throw sticks and discover the flora and fauna and develop a love of nature.

Come take a walk with me . . .

Of course these places don't all look like this now, but in just a few short weeks . . .

** Howdie all and welcome to week 6 of The Gallery!
As you know, I launched The Gallery to showcase all the amazing photographs I see dotted around the blogs I visit.
I wanted to create an online art gallery of all your work.
And the results have been stunning and exceeded my wildest expectations.

So on to this week's theme which is Outside my front door.
There was less moaning when it was announced this week so I'm hoping people will find it a little easier than last week's theme: Me (which incidentally I thought produced some truly amazing photos and stories).
So, tough one to follow!

Are you joining in this week? At the foot of this post you will find a widget to add the URL to your own Gallery post.
The aim is to get as many of your photographs viewed by others, so if you do have the time, make sure you try and visit some of the other entries - even if it's only a couple - and let them know what you think.
And if you've missed this week's prompt, no problem as there will be a new one on Friday.

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Read more...

Disneyfied

My 7 year old and I spent the weekend at Disneyland Paris as guests of the resort to mark the launch of it's New Generation festival.
Dan will be writing his review of it very soon but I just wanted to show what a weekend in the company of a couple of mice, a handful of monsters and a couple of superheroes can do (the princesses didn't get a look in).

That smile didn't leave his face for 3 whole days and he bounced everywhere. Bounced
And for a cynical parents' protestations of expense and queues and fast food and oh the queues, you only have to look at his face to see what it meant to him.

We sat side by side on the plane on our way home. We were weary, worn out and our feet ached.
We chatted about the new friends we made, the rides we loved, the morning we got caught in the rain and totally didn't care, the double beds we got to ourselves
Then Dan says: "I had the best time mummy. Such a great time."

I smile and he looks out of the plane window at the blanket of clouds below us.

"But the best thing was being with you all weekend. That was my favourite part."
And mummy's heart melts.

* The 'sweet tray' at an evening party we attended at Disney Studios.

They looked amazing, but the marzipan Mike Wazowski didn't taste all that hot, truth be told.

Read more...

The Gallery: Week 5

Hello and welcome to week 5 of The Gallery.

Week 5 I hear you cry! Never! Look at how many people are joining in! Look at how fabulous everyone's photos are!

But yes dear internet, it's only been 5 short weeks.

And this spark of an idea to launch a dynamic virtual art gallery; something we can all visit, have a poke around, offer support, get more people looking at and appreciating the wonderful photos dotted around the internet, has turned into, well, something rather amazing.

Last week's theme was 'me' and I spent the best part of Wednesday night laughing, crying and commenting.

I saw wedding dresses, scars, portraits - everyone really dug deep to come up with their interpretation of the theme.

So this week I thought I'd better make it a little easier. A little more lighthearted.

This week's theme is: Outside my front door.

Not literally outside your front door (although if it's a great photo opportunity then go for it!)

But I want to see where you live. What sort of environment are you in? Is it leafy, is it built up, is it rural, is it crowded? Is it sunny, is it cold, is it picturesque, is it urban?

Now get clicking!

The Gallery

If you're new to The Gallery, here's the brief: I will give you a prompt, an idea, a notion and you go out and take a photograph using that prompt. Or just use a photo you already have.

The prompt could be one word, an object, an idea, a phrase, anything, and you have to post a picture which you feel represents that prompt.

Post it on your blog and write about it.

That's it.

It's not about taking technically brilliant photos - although if you do, I'd love to see them too. It's about having a passion for pictures; any photos, all photos whether you took it with your all singing all dancing SLR or snapped it on your camera phone.
You don't even have to be a blogger to take part - just send me your photo and I will publish it on my blog for you. You don't even have to include your name if you prefer.

When you've published it, come back on Wednesday and via a groovy widget thing you can add a link to your post and share it with everyone.

Visit others, comment if you like them or feel inspired by them. Just go out and encourage and support amateur photographers out there.

And if you want to add a pukka linkable Gallery button to your blog (instead of the amateurish one I've been using!) just let me know as I have code (courtesy of Sian at MummyTips).

Come back on Wednesday and join in. I can't wait to see what you come up with.

And if you want to make sure you don't miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to ...

Read more...

8 life lessons my children taught me

I am in my 40s.

I have learned an awful lot in all those years but a 7 year old and a 4 year old have managed to teach me some of the life lessons I value most dearly in their short years.

And I am eternally thankful to them.

1. Laugh.

Even when you don't feel like it and you're knotted up with anger and you want to rant and rage: Just laugh. It solves many many problems.

If you still feel like ranting and raging after that, then it was probably worth getting cross about. If not then you've saved yourself another couple of wrinkles.

There is nothing in this world as joyous as hearing children laugh: Fact.

Bag some of that for yourself.

2. Time is the most valuable thing you own.

Money is great, fancy holidays are lovely, a posh car is, well, unnecessary in my book but don't let my husband hear you say that.

But give someone your time and they will be forever grateful.

Children don't want to be lavished with goods (no matter how much they beg for them). They want you; all of you, the you that isn't distracted by computers or TV or whether or not there is enough food in the house to last until the weekend.

Give your undivided attention.

3. Treat others as you wish to be treated.

This is a real biggie for me. I wasn't a bad person before I had children but since they have been around I want so much to be a better person; for them to be proud of me, to say 'my mum had time for everyone. She always wanted to help'.

Children see, children do and I want to lead by example.

4. Pick your battles.

Some things really really don't matter. Just let them go.

There was a time when I was SO principled, so determined that I would have my say and wanted to stand up and be counted.

Does it really matter if all they've eaten all day is chocolate for breakfast, a hot dog and 2 bags of crisps? It's one day. Tomorrow you can balance it out.

Same goes for pretty much everything else. Smile and let it go. There will be plenty of time to come out all guns blazing when it really matters.

5. Slow down.

Do you really need to get to where you're going in such a hurry? Not really, so stop and look at the world through the eyes of a toddler whenever you can.

Smell the grass, see the buildings around you, listen to the birds/children playing/mowers mowing.

And if you can walk: journeys are so fascinating if you take the time to use your senses.

Even better skip.

6. The world doesn't end if they leave the house with clothes that don't 'go'.

For the longest time I would battle with my daughter because she wanted to wear her wellies with shorts and a Peter Pan top. And a baseball cap to top it off.

But then I realised: what does it matter? Who is it hurting? Why can't she express herself while walking around Sainsbury's? In years to come she'll be baiting me with something inappropriate so why not enjoy these years of cuteness and Dora backpacks stuffed with soft toys?

7. Let go.

Sing at the top of your voice. Dance in the park. Ride on the trolleys down the isles at the supermarket.

Who cares who's watching? Live your life.

8. Hug.

The world would be a better place if more people hugged.

I probably hug too much, but you're giving out just a little bit of joy right there.

Have you ever had a crappy day and come home to a hug from your little one? That right there has the power to transform my shitty day into something more bearable. I'd just like to give just a little bit of that out too.

So life lessons from little ones? What have they taught you?

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The Gallery: Me

This is me when I became the me I am now.

I am 3 months pregnant with my first baby and I was never happier.

It's not the best quality photo (probably because I'd trusted my husband behind the camera - tut) but I think it shows the glow of motherhood that enveloped me.

Hubby and I were at Disneyland Paris and I was moaning because I couldn't go on some Indiana Jones ride because of my 'condition'.
We were a married couple with our first child on the way and weren't yet bowed down with the weight of responsibility.

To me this photo represents the year I changed.
And I much prefer the person I became the minute I knew I was going to be a parent.

** Bonjour and welcome to week 4 of The Gallery!
First of all I want to thank Sian at MummyTips who is such a vocal supporter of this fledgling feature and who, without prompting or asking, has created the code to make The Gallery picture you see here a proper pukka linkable button instead of the amateurish picture I put up every week!

Sian, thank you so much. I really am very grateful.
So now, if you want to add the button there is code.

As you know, I launched The Gallery to showcase all the amazing photographs I see dotted around the blogs I visit.
I wanted to create an online art gallery of all your work.
And the results have been stunning and exceeded my wildest expectations.

So on to this week's theme which is Me.
I suspect people will find it much more difficult but I also suspect there are going to be brilliant entries.

Are you joining in this week? At the foot of this post you will find a widget to add the URL to your own Gallery post.
The aim is to get as many of your photographs viewed by others, so if you do have the time, make sure you try and visit some of the other entries - even if it's only a couple - and let them know what you think.
And if you've missed this week's prompt, no problem as there will be a new one on Friday.

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Read more...

I think he's been watching too much Star Wars

Dan: "Mummy why exactly are there those giant things in the sky? Those giant metal things with shields on?"

Me: "Err . . ."

Dan: "You know, they're there to protect us. If someone tried to shoot at the Earth from space, these things are there to make sure that doesn't happen."

Me: Total total blank.

Dan: "Come on mum. They're floating in the sky all around the world and if ever someone with, you know, like a ray gun or something bigger, tries to blast our planet, or bombard us with stuff, these things will protect us."

Me: "You mean satellites?"

Dan: "That's it! Satellites. How exactly do they do that, you know, protect us?"

How do I tell a little boy who is convinced the world is this fabulous, magical place just like the films he watches on TV, that actually the purpose of satellites is rather more mundane?

I sit and watch Prof Brian Cox present The Wonders of the Solar System with him, that's how and just hope, hope, that it will go someway to easing the disappointment of discovering that satellites aren't in fact operated by Jedi mind control . . .

Read more...

The Gallery Week 4

Hello and welcome to week 4 of The Gallery.

I spent nearly 3 hours sat visiting everyone who entered last weeks theme (colour) and let me tell you dear internet, it was nothing short of awesome. And I never ever use that word.

The interpretations of the theme were so diverse and so smart that I didn't know what I would stumble on from one blog to the next.

But better than all of that; the thing that makes this all worth while, is the fact that I have received so many comments from people saying how much they love taking part and how many new people have visited their blogs.

That my friends, makes me want to make a vlog telling each and every one of you how bloody brilliant you are. But don't hold your breath; I won't.

So our virtual art gallery rolls on.

And if you then feel inspired to get writing too, check out Josie's brilliant Writers Workshop for more inspiration.

And so to this week's prompt.

Last week I opened it up to Twitter to choose (and went with @cosmicgirlie's suggestion of colour, which let's face it was a huge success.)

This week I'm choosing my own.

I've made some good friends through blogging. And some great friends. I've even met a few of them. But what about the ones I haven't met? What are they like, really like?

So this week's theme is: Me (as in you!)

I want a picture which reflects who you are. It doesn't have to be a self-portrait if you don't want to. Just something which says: Me (and Josie don't you DARE post a photo of your feet).

It can be you as a child, you now, a body part (I can hear some of you chuckling from here), doing something you love, taken by someone you love etc etc.

Yeah, it's a toughie but I think it's going to be a great one for discovering who you all are.

So get clicking!

The Gallery

If you're new to The Gallery, here's the brief: I will give you a prompt, an idea, a notion and you go out and take a photograph using that prompt. Or just use a photo you already have.

The prompt could be one word, an object, an idea, a phrase, anything, and you have to post a picture which you feel represents that prompt.

Post it on your blog and write about it.

That's it.

It's not about taking technically brilliant photos - although if you do, I'd love to see them too. It's about having a passion for pictures; any photos, all photos whether you took it with your all singing all dancing SLR or snapped it on your camera phone.
You don't even have to be a blogger to take part - just send me your photo and I will publish it on my blog for you. You don't even have to include your name if you prefer.

When you've published it, come back on Wednesday and via a groovy widget thing you can add a link to your post and share it with everyone.

Visit others, comment if you like them or feel inspired by them. Just go out and encourage and support amateur photographers out there.

Come back on Wednesday and join in. I can't wait to see what you come up with.

And if you want to make sure you don't miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to ...

Read more...

The Gallery: Red

These two pictures represent a weekend away from my family. A weekend in which I met online strangers. A weekend in which I found entertainment and friendship in equal measure.

The venue was PortAventura in Spain where I had been sent along with a bunch other other rag tag British bloggers.
We were all strangers when we met but we parted friends. Good friends. The sort of friends it sometimes takes a lifetime to find

The first picture is of an amazing Polynesian show at the park in which Maoris put on a display of their traditional dance and it really was quite breathtaking.
The second picture was later that evening when we found ourselves in the bar (imagine that! A bunch of mums in the bar ordering cocktails. The Spanish were not impressed).
The mums in question were Laura (Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy), Erica (Little Mummy), Jo Bo (Jo Beaufoix), Alice (Dulwich Divorcee) and myself.
Have a guess who was the classy one who opted for a glass of wine and not a trashy, Crayola-coloured cocktail . . .


** Look at that, we're on week 3 of The Gallery already!
I launched this new feature to showcase all the amazing photographs I see dotted around the blogs I visit. To create an online art gallery of all your work.

And this week's theme is colour.

Are you joining in this week? At the foot of this post you will find a widget to add the URL to your own Gallery post.
The aim is to get as many of your photographs viewed by others, so if you do have the time, make sure you try and visit some of the other entries - even if it's only a couple - and let them know what you think.
And if you've missed this week's prompt, no problem as there will be a new one on Friday.

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Read more...

Baby Elephants Can't Add Up Sums Easily

I absolutely love the stage my son is at in his education.

He thinks he knows everything (quite obviously takes after his dad).

"Shall I tell you the trick to learning your 9 times table? You will never guess it, it's so clever and unbelievable."

"Did you know that your blood does the most amazing thing . . . "

"We're learning about the rainforest at the moment. Let me tell you some of the things because they are amazing."

Everything is 'amazing' and 'so cool'; everything is new and wondrous - and he truly believes he's learning all of this before any of us grown ups.

Which means it is clearly his job to share his new-found knowledge to anyone who will listen. And those who won't. Especially those who won't.

If ever I say "I know Dan" or "I used to do that at school" I see a deflated look cross his eyes and I feel like the worst person in the world for putting inky footprints all over his wide-eyed innocence.

So I've taken to pretending I too am learning it all for the first time.

And truth be told it has been such an eye opener. To just listen to the joy and wonder of learning through the eyes of a 7 year old. Nothing short of uplifting.

We lie on his bed together of an evening, staring at the ceiling, sharing facts; he asks me to give him difficult sums (like I said, SO like his dad) and he tells me the things he's discovered recently.

Here are the things I have learnt this week:

1. Baby Elephants Can't Add Up Sums Easily: (a trick for remembering how to spell BECAUSE).
2. Polar bears have black skin and their hair is actually transparent.
3. The world is so big that if you thought about it for too long, your mind would, you know, give up and start thinking about the grass and stuff.
4. In the olden days people weren't very nice to children. I'm so glad I never had to work up a chimney.
5. You know the Plague? It was horrible.
6. Walruses really really trump. Honestly I've seen it on a video. It's hilarious.
7. Your name backwards is 'a rat', mummy.

What rubbish do they teach them at that school anyway?

Read more...

The Gallery Week 3

Hello and welcome to week 3 of The Gallery.

Many of you moaned about last week's theme (numbers) but you certainly came up trumps! Your interpretations of the theme were just inspiring.

And not only that, I got to visit and discover a whole raft of new blogs.

And so this marvellous virtual art gallery - I still love that JoB - rolls on. Combined with the fantastic Writers Workshop that Josie runs at Sleep is for the Week there is enough homework floating around online to keep you busy all weekend!

And so to this week's prompt.

I confess I cheated and asked for help on Twitter because I wanted someone else to blame if you all didn't like the prompt. What? At least I'm being honest.

I was flooded with enough ideas to last me the whole year, so I'm keeping a spreadsheet of them (or a bunch of sticky notes dotted around my desk but spreadsheet sounds posher. Oh and I won't be adding Josie's suggestion of 'feet').

But for today's prompt: Colour (courtesy of @cosmicgirlie)

And if anyone dares tell me this is too hard I'm personally coming over there to sort you out. Or I'll probably send CosmicGirlie instead and then you'll be sorry . . .

The Gallery

In case you missed the first one, here's the brief: I will give you a prompt, an idea, a notion and you go out and take a photograph using that prompt. Or just use a photo you already have.

The prompt could be one word, an object, an idea, a phrase, anything, and you have to post a picture which you feel represents that prompt.

Post it on your blog and write about it.

That's it.

It's not about taking technically brilliant photos - although if you do, I'd love to see them too. It's about having a passion for pictures; any photos, all photos whether you took it with your all singing all dancing SLR or snapped it on your camera phone.
You don't even have to be a blogger to take part - just send me your photo and I will publish it on my blog for you. You don't even have to include your name if you prefer.

When you've published it, come back on Wednesday and via a groovy widget thing you can add a link to your post and share it with everyone.

Visit others, comment if you like them or feel inspired by them. Just go out and encourage and support amateur photographers out there.

Come back on Wednesday and join in. I can't wait to see what you come up with.

And if you want to make sure you don't miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to ...

Read more...

Why I want to visit my son's headteacher and tell her she's an a**

My bright little man has been invited to visit Disneyland Paris at the end of this month to review the new features at the site.
Just take that in: Can you even begin to imagine how exciting that is to a 7 year old?

So I wrote to the school to let them know he would be taking a Friday off school and explained to them why.
I know it's not exactly educational as such but what a great opportunity for him.
Plus Fridays at school at the moment are 'Friendly Fridays' where year groups mix throughout the day and play board games and make things and generally interact and well 'play' as my son puts it.

This is the response I got:
"I have to advise you that this absence will only be authorised if his attendance has been 96% or above by the beginning of the holiday.
In future I would urge you to avoid taking your child out of school during term time, as valuable lost classroom time and lessons, disrupts children's education."

I know it's not ideal to take children out of school.

I know how important his education is.

I know that I should avoid taking him out of school during term time.

But. I am a responsible parent.

I know my son. I know what he is capable of and how far he has come in the school year.

I know because I have taken a keen interest. Because I sit with him most nights and read or do homework or do sums (seriously, it's his choice not mine!)

The school knows this because I have spoken to his form teacher on many many occasions.

I do not appreciate being treated like I am irresponsible and wantonly ruining his education.

I do not appreciate being told how valuable lost classroom time is when this school closed for a total of 5 days during the snowy weather and all others in the area took 2.

I do not appreciate a generic, terse letter addressed: Dear parents when I took the time to write a letter addressed to the appropriate person.

Yes, I know it's probably a standard letter sent out if you request 1 day or 20 days, but still, a little less 'faceless redtape' and a little more human contact wouldn't hurt would it?

If it upset me, imagine how many other parents they're p***ing off?

I also moaned about it on Twitter and wanted to share just a couple of the responses (which did go some way to making me feel better about it):

I don't know, am I being unreasonable? Is this how other schools deal with the issue?
Isn't it about working together as parents and educators for the best of the children?

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The Gallery: 4½

She's on the cusp of becoming a girl.

She's leaving childish things behind; leaving tantrums, frustrations and clinging to mummy.

She's discovering independence, learning, love.

She is on the cusp of becoming a girl and I couldn't be more proud of her.

** Howdie and welcome to week 2 of The Gallery!
I launched this new feature to showcase all the amazing photographs I see dotted around the blogs I visit. To create an online art gallery of all your work.

And this week's theme is numbers.

Are you joining in this week? At the foot of this post you will find a widget to add the URL to your own Gallery post.
The aim is to get as many of your photographs viewed by others, so if you do have the time, make sure you try and visit some of the other entries - even if it's only a couple - and let them know what you think.
And if you've missed this week's prompt, no problem as there will be a new one on Friday.

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Read more...

Angelina Jolie's turning her little girl into a boy - a rant

I confess I'm not much of a celeb baby watcher, I couldn't care less if Suri is wearing heels or has been carrying a make up bag around since the age of 3.

And I care little if one of the Beckhams is making goo goo eyes at the girls.

But one celeb story recently actually managed to make my blood boil - the talk of Angelina Jolie turning her little girl into a boy.

Oh purrlease.

I have a little girl who thinks she's a boy.

She's only 4 but knows exactly what she wants to wear and that's usually jeans or a joggers or something from her brother's wardrobe - in fact anything which makes her more like him.

At fancy dress parties she will dress as one thing and one thing only: Peter Pan.

And if you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up, for the longest time she would reply "a boy".

But in the States, a magazine decided to have a team of experts analyse photos of young Shiloh because these days she looks, well, like a little boy they say.

Which equals, she's had a haircut (in a cute page boy) and she's wearing more boyish clothes. But, err, so what?

There has been talk of 'gender issues', bloggers have been buzzing about it and generally everyone is in a foo fah because a little girl acted entirely normally.

The magazine went on to infer that her mother is in fact trying to turn her daughter into a boy.

They talked to experts, stylists, parenting coaches who all said little Shiloh should be dressed like a girl and that she is a trendsetter and should act like one.

For the love of god, she's 3.

One 'expert' hilariously said: “Shiloh is pushing the boundaries of a tomboy look and crossing over to cross-dresser territory.”

Another said the situation is close to tragic: “They need help, they need guidance of what that looks like. It’s important to teach our children that gender distinction is very healthy.”

Hello? She's a little tomboy who wants to play in jeans, get her knees dirty and get a bit of dirt under her fingernails.

My girl likes nothing better than climbing, wrestling and getting so dirty I have to sit her in the bath most nights and take a scrubbing brush to her toe nails (how the hell do they get so dirty ALL THE TIME?)

And while I'm whined and moaned about how ungirlie she is and how she keeps cutting her own hair and tried weeing standing up when we were potty training her, truth be told I'm secretly chuffed to bits she's this way. I want my girl to be a bit feisty and independent. I want her to discover her own identity, not have one foisted on her.

What are parents supposed to do, force their little girls to grow their hair and wear dresses because it makes people feel better?

I know what it's like to have a girl with a very definite idea of what she wants to wear. If Mia doesn't want to wear a skirt there is no way on God's green earth I'm going to get one on her. On one occasion she got dressed, waited for me to go downstairs, took the skirt off, put her favourite joggers on then HID THE SKIRT so I couldn't put it back on her when I discovered her deception.

All that at the age of 3.

Trust me, none of those 'experts' can have children if they truly believe the crap that is coming out of their mouths.

Rant over.

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Alice in Wonderland through the eyes of a 7 year old

I confess I am a movie anorak.

My son is turning into one too and, oh joy, is old enough to come with me now and I am in celluloid heaven.

So tonight we went to see the hotly anticipated Alice in Wonderland Tim Burton movie.

Of course, the thing about Tim Burton is that is movies are slightly 'odd'.

We love odd.

Dan: "The Hatter is wicked. The smiley cat is pretty good and I liked the fat boys, but the Hatter was sooo cool."

That, my friends is a glowing endorsement.

However I managed to ruin it all, totally and utterly ruin it.

Oh internet, I hang my head in shame.

Dan: "Why is her head so big? Sooo big. Look at it, it's all wrong mummy. What did they do to that lady to make it like that?"

The Red Queen does look exquisitely out of proportion.

Me: "It's just a part of the film making, Dan. It's all done using special effects."

Blank look.

Me: "They can make things look like they're happening when they're not. Like when Alice drank the potion and shrunk or ate the cake and grew. It's not real, they've just made it look like that for the film. It doesn't actually happen."

There is a long pause as he digests this and he's looking at me quizzically. Then a cold realisation creeps down my spine as it dawns on me that a little boy's dreams have been unceremoniously shattered by his wicked wicked mummy as right there and then she ruins the magic of the movies for him.

And next week I'll be telling him there's no such thing as Santa.

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The Gallery Week 2

Hello and welcome to week 2 of The Gallery.

The first theme (beauty) was just wonderful: from children to nature, the everyday to the not so every day, your entries were just fabulous.

And not only that, I got to visit and discover a whole raft of new blogs.

And someone also managed to describe it far better than I managed: A virtual art gallery - yeah, I love that! (thanks JoB!)

And so to this week's prompt.
My son is currently in Year 2 at school (he's 7) and he's soaking everything up like a big ole sponge and it's just joyous to watch.

One of his big loves is maths (or numeracy as they're calling in these days).

So today's prompt is: A number. I want the title of your photo to be one number.

What the heck? I can here you all saying . . .

Well, what about 14: the age you discovered fashion?

Or 10: the number of years you've been married?

Or 3: the number of pets in the house?

Or 4: the number of children you have?

Etc etc.

I know, I know, it's going to take some thought, but then that's what this is all about - getting you to think about your pictures; rediscover old ones, or think of new ones to take.

The Gallery

In case you missed the first one, here's the brief: I will give you a prompt, an idea, a notion and you go out and take a photograph using that prompt. Or just use a photo you already have.

The prompt could be one word, an object, an idea, a phrase, anything, and you have to post a picture which you feel represents that prompt.

Post it on your blog and write about it.

That's it.

It's not about taking technically brilliant photos - although if you do, I'd love to see them too. It's about having a passion for pictures; any photos, all photos whether you took it with your all singing all dancing SLR or snapped it on your camera phone.
You don't even have to be a blogger to take part - just send me your photo and I will publish it on my blog for you. You don't even have to include your name if you prefer.

When you've published it, come back on Wednesday and via a groovy widget thing you can add a link to your post and share it with everyone.

Visit others, comment if you like them or feel inspired by them. Just go out and encourage and support amateur photographers out there.

Come back on Wednesday and join in. I can't wait to see what you come up with.

And if you want to make sure you don't miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to ...

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Guest Post Day: Brighton Mum - Teenage Angst

What an utterly marvellous idea.

A whole rainbow of bloggers are swapping blogs today. And I hate it I really do, because I didn't think of it.

Damn that Little Mummy.

So today I am playing host to Brighton Mum - Teenage Angst. And she is playing host to me! And I'll be totally honest here, I read her blog with virtual fingers in my ears going la la la la la la, for she has (**whisper it**) teenagers.

Yes I am in tota

l denial that my two lovely little munchkins will ever metamorphosis into teens . . .

Anyway, Karen is a mum of 4 (**faints**) - 3 boys aged 22, 19 and 18 and a 16 year old daughter ... all still living at home.

Show her lots of respect.

Is this someone’s idea of a joke? Because we need to have words.

I have a bone to pick. I'm not quite sure with whom exactly, but there must be someone out there who is responsible for this. And whoever it is, wherever they are, I want words with them.
... SERIOUS words ... NOW!

To what am I referring, you ask? Yes what indeed.
I'm talking about someone’s idea of a joke, as surely this must be?
Okay, hands up please. What idiot decided it would be a fine idea to pair a hormonal 16 yr old girl, together with a 48 yr old, PRE-menopausal woman. Take note, I said PRE! (PRE and yes, I do realize I'm shouting!)

No one in their right minds could ever think this combination was going to work, right? So therefore, someone somewhere is having a laugh.

Maybe they thought that conducting a scientific experiment using highly flammable materials, in close proximity to each other, would make for great entertainment. Huh?! Who for? Certainly not the 3 young male adults, and OH who happen to share the same living space, and who are regularly to be seen, ducking and diving, heads down and running for cover like commandos in training.

Or maybe the idea is some form of social experiment, where the 16 yr old gets to hone her newly learnt, rapier sharp skills on an older, more experienced, but slightly weary, player.

And the elder can be witnessed fighting to retain her ground against the tide of youth, while trying hard not to be the cause of an incidence of spontaneous combustion, of either her self or anyone or anything else in the vicinity.

Often both can be seen, in their natural habitat, engaging in verbal clinches of epic proportions.

But please don't worry, you hear me? All you mums of still adorable, cute and sweetly lovable little girls ... because I've decided that this scenario could be preventable, and I'll tell you how...

I promise, I will personally find and stalk whoever is responsible for this 'Huge Joke'. Then in the interests of all future harmonious 'Mother and Teenage Daughter' relationships, I will remove them to a safe place, where they can no longer cause any harm.
Where I can then have 'serious words' with them...whilst simultaneously bashing them about the head with whatever heavy kitchen implement happens to be to hand...

There you go, job done. No, honestly, its okay, you can thank me later...

(This is Tara RUNNING away very very fast . . . )

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A warning

If you haven't yet had children there are things you cannot ever understand.
There are things people simply don't tell you. They just don't tell you. The things that could save your sanity.
Therefore, I'm going to tell you.
So listen up and listen good. It could save you a lot of heartache in years to come.

And if like me it's too late for you, well then I'm sorry . . .

1. Enjoy your sleep.
Never ever take it for granted because it's a glorious luxury you will have to forgo for what feels like the L O O O N G E S T time.
That bed you adore? The one you lovingly iron and spend a fortune on fancy sheets and throws whatever, will never be yours again.
It will be puked on, weed on and you will forever have to share it with a child who resembles a thrashing starfish the minute they creep in during the night and whisper that the monsters are frightening them and can they just come and sleep with you for a bit?

2. Appreciate your food.
Once children are on the scene your meals will be rushed or cold or a whole bunch of leftovers. Or toast.
For the longest time you will have to learn how to eat with a child on your lap. That child will not care that you haven't eaten in hours because you've been tackling Mount Ironing or sweeping crushed crisps from the rug.
You will have to bolt it down at the first given opportunity or go without. So chew. Chew, chew savour, enjoooooy.

3. Enjoy going to the loo.
Trust me, once you have children you will never ever sit on the toilet alone again.
You will never have a moment to yourself. Someone will always want you, need you, demand your attention. Just because you're on the toilet doesn't stop the demanding.
You will lose your headspace. You will never be afforded a day off again. Even when you have a day off, a child-free day, a day when someone takes your charges away for a while, you are not free from the worry, the fretting, the loving, the longing.

4. You can never be ill again
You know those days when you can wallow in self pity, watch daytime TV, drink hot tea and feel sorry for yourself while wrapped up in a warm blanket and wearing bed socks?
Yeah, forget that once a child comes along. And if you and your baby are ill at the same time? You will know the true definition of despair.

5. Don't bother buying expensive/valuable items.
Nice things will get broken/drawn on/used as a ramp for son's Hot Wheels cars. And when I say nice things I basically mean everything.
Expensive make up? Watch as it's used for paint projects or simply for tipping onto the bathroom floor to 'see how it looks'.

6. You will discover The Fear

The love you have for your children is unbearable. Indescribable. Fierce.

That gripping, intense love you feel is like nothing you will have ever experienced. And the minute you have a child of your own you instantly understand what all those parents were talking about when they said it can be so intense it will take your breath away.
But when you love something that much it instills The Fear in you.
Irrational fear. Fear of the future. Fear of failure.

Fear you're not good enough.

Fear you're not doing it right.

Fear for the life, the world you've brought them into.

Fear that as you and your baby walk by a car will mount the pavement/a building will collapse/a plane will fall our of the sky.

Irrational fear. But fear nevertheless.

And as crippling and painful as this all can be, as much as you struggle or stumble you absolutely know that you wouldn't change any of it, any of this ridiculous list, because really? All of it, all the nonsense, the highs, the lows, they all add up to being a parent.

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The Gallery: Beauty

Welcome to the very first Gallery! Woo hoo!
On Friday I launched this new feature designed to showcase all the amazing photographs I see dotted around the blogs I visit.
And the first 'theme' I chose for you to use was beauty.
At the foot of this post you will find a widget to add a link to your own Gallery post.
But before that, it's my blog so I'm going first!

This to me encapsulates everything I love about the English countryside.
There is something quite magical about it; something otherworldly.
This was taken on a day out with friends to a local park, one of those hidden gems you probably drive past a million times but never really 'see'.
It's so vibrant and so green and so inviting.
Plus my daughter is not wearing jeans and actually looks quite demure!
Still I think she's beautiful no matter what she wears.


And here is Liz's gorgeous entry from Living With Kids. I'll let her explain it in her own words:

I took this picture of frangipani (aka plumeria) in Hawaii.
Oahu is my true spiritual home, and there's natural beauty all over the island. We've been twice now and the last time I wanted to take a photo of something that would remind me of Oahu every time I looked at it.
Frangipani grows everywhere and the scent is just exquisite.
I took the picture with my point-and-shoot digital.

Are you joining in The Gallery this week?

If so, add your name and the URL to your Gallery post in the MckLinky below and leave a comment to let everyone know you’ve taken part.

The aim of this feature is to get as many of your photographs viewed by others, so if you do have the time, make sure you try and visit some of the other entries - even if it's only a couple - and let them know what you think.
And if you've missed this week's prompt, no problem as there will be a new one every other Friday.
Happy snapping everyone!

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