Why mums are more betterer than dads. A list

I saw this great post at Father Apprentice - Why Dads are more Better Than Moms -  and thought I'd offer the other side of the coin:

Mums arrange sleepovers for your friends.
Mums do the shopping and so put chocolate HobNobs and Cheesy Puffs in the cupboards.
Mums don't mind if you cry over a film/a cut knee/a girl.
Mums remember all your key dates so you don't have to.
Mums instinctively know what's wrong without you actually having to tell them.
Mums have bat hearing in the night and instantly know when you need them.
Mums are prepared to wash your mud-caked stinkin rugby/footy/hockey kit.
Mums come into direct contact with your vomit/pee/poo and don't dance around like a big girl and make a scene.
Mums will never embarrass you on the dance floor.
Mums drive better.

And then I asked the wisdom of Twitter:
Mums can multi task. They can change a nappy/empty the dishwasher and help with your homework without breaking into a sweat (@LauraCYMFT)
Mums always give you the benefit of the doubt. Always. And have boobs so give squishier hugs (@ScribblingMum)
Mums ALWAYS know where the missing hairbrush/shoe/football/crucial LEGO piece is. It's second nature (@LauraAWNTYM)
Mums are brave enough to do the dentist/optician/hospital/minor injuries/homework ... (@CazbatTweets)
Mums are happy to roll with it (@MissBethAnn)
Mums can grow hair on their knuckles too. They just choose not to! (@MumsRock)
Mums are proud of you if you get up in the morning. Dads expect actual achievements! (@Mumra)
Mums are better at mopping up tears (@LivingWithKids)
Mums have the best "make it better" cuddles (@LittleLilyPadCo)
Mums see a quiet house as trouble brewing and go investigate. Dads put the telly on then find the kids ice skating in the kitchen (@MammyWoo)
Because we just are! (@Mammyskitchen)


“God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers.”
- Jewish Proverb

"I know how to do anything - I'm a mom."
- Rosanne Barr

So what say you? Any more to add that show why mums are better than dads?

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The Gallery: Week 44

Hello and welcome to week 44 of The Gallery.

I think I've been giving you a really easy ride of late. It's time to wield my  stick and make you WORK at this goddam it!
There are so many newcomers to The Gallery recently it really has been a joy to see all your photos and discover your blogs.
And don't forget, if you like someone's writing, their style, the cut of their jib, go back and visit to see what they do on 'non' Gallery days.
They might just be your new 'must read'.

So on to this week's theme.
I was browsing through these amazing photographs recently and it's from here I've taken this week's theme: Shapes.

Sure I know there aren't pyramids in your back garden and you're not going to pop to Paris to get a shot of the Eiffel Tower for The Gallery. But actually, there are so many amazing shapes everywhere around us. It's just a case of looking; really looking.
So there you go, a real challenge this week to go out and find some amazing shapes.

Don't forget to come back on Wednesday to add your link when The Gallery post goes up. Then visit as many of the other entries as you can to see what they've come up with.

Say hi, discover new people, welcome them in when they discover you.

Appreciate the wonderful words and photos that are opening themselves up to you.

The link stays open until the following Tuesday, so don't worry if you don't manage to post your photo on Wednesday.

NEW HERE? NOT SURE HOW TO ENTER?
If you're new here and want to find out what The Gallery is all about and how to enter visit here.
And if you want to make sure you don't miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS or email feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to ...

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You see, THIS is why I blog . . .

Me: "Mia your hands are so dirty. Look at them."
She rolls her eyes and sighs like she's summoning up deep wells of patience.
Mia: "That's because I'm creative mum."

****************

‎"Does Santa say 'ho ho ho and a bottle of rum?"
No love thems pirates!

****************

"Mummy, sometimes you really are beautiful. But only sometimes."

****************

After a visit to the doctor.
Mia: "You need to buy me a treat now."
Me: "Well, yes, you were a very good girl in there I guess."
Mia (clearly chuffed with herself): "No not for that. The whole time we were talking to that doctor, I held a trump in."

****************

Mia: "I learned something new in school today."
Me: "Oh great, what was it?" (she NEVER tells me anything about what she's learning).
Mia: "Kiss chase. I'm really good at it."

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The Gallery: Children

Funny, cheeky, charming, amazing, adorable, surprising, fascinating, fabulous, heartwarming, heartbreaking . . .
No matter what their age or stage in life, children remain all of the above.

I know different stages can bring different 'challenges'; that there are times when we look at our children and wonder where the heck we went wrong.
We're in the 'no' stage with Mia at the moment (said with no emotion or anger or tantrum. Just a small, flat 'no' while she rolls her eyes at you. She's 5 for heaven's sake!)
Sometimes if she really wants to annoy me, she offers a 'nope' (wide eyes, exaggerated lip movement).

But put them together with other kids and I could sit and watch them for hours.
This is my 8 year old with a family friend Lola a couple of summers ago. How utterly cute are they? Sure he's a real 'boy' and all he wants to talk about is sport and football cards and who can run faster than who in the playground and he tuts and moans when I tell him, actually no you can't have a bar of chocolate for breakfast.
But when a 3 year old asks for his attention he's all ears.

And a million and one other little stories like that. We all have them.
So write all those adjectives above down and remember them.
Our children really are amazing.

This post is for Week 43 of The Gallery: Children.
Now go forth and show some big blog love.

If you're new and want to know what The Gallery is, go and read here, and then come right back and join in!
You can also pick up The Gallery code if you want too.

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

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She dreams of a whole different universe of superheroes

When your car breaks down and you've got 3 or 4 vets trapped in the back, who you gonna call?
Well a unicorn, of course.

Don't you just love how children's imaginations work?
To 5 year old, animal obsessed Mia, this is totally plausible.
Man in tights? Woman with a rope which makes you tell the truth? Part boy/part spider? How utterly ridiculous.
Her golden-maned unicorn with a magical silver Rescue Rope is clearly WAY more believable.

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Really easy Sunday teatime Victoria sponge

I am no domestic goddess.
In fact just saying that sentence makes me cackle with laughter.
But just lately I've rediscovered baking. There is something quite wonderful about having your 8 year old son who's not impressed with much, breathe: "Wow mum, that looks delicious."
Ok Ok, so I'm a sucker for compliments.

So today I attempted a Victoria sponge cake; surely the most traditional of English Sunday treats?
It was easy peasy; it must be if I managed it.
Sure it doesn't look really pretty and perfect, but let me tell you, it tasted GORGEOUS.

So if you're not ordinarily the baking type and fancy impressing the family, this is for you.

Ingredients
225g soft butter
225g caster sugar
4 eggs
225g self-raising flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla essence
2-3 tbsp milk
For the filling
4 tbsp raspberry jam
50g soft butter
100g icing sugar

Method
Grease and base line two 8 inch sandwich tins with greased greaseproof paper.
Heat oven to 180C.
Put all the ingredients into a large mixing bowl and beat well until totally blended. See, it even starts off really really easy.
Divide mixture evenly between the two tins and level out.
Bake for about 25 minutes or until well risen and the cake springs back when lightly pressed.
Leave to cool on a wire rack.
When cold, spread the base of one cake with the jam and the other with buttercream icing (beat the butter and the icing sugar well together until smooth and creamy).
Sandwich the two halves together, sprinkle the top with a little extra icing sugar and voila!

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Grandma, we have a little announcement

Dan: "Do we actually have to work when we grow up?"
Me: "Well yes, if you want a nice house and holidays and things like that."
Dan: "House? But I'm going to be living here."
Me: "But what about when you have a family of your own? You won't want to be living with us. We don't all live with grandma do we?"
Dan: "No, and I don't really see why not. Then she could do all the stuff and you and dad could just play with us."

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The Gallery: Week 43

Hello and welcome to week 43 of The Gallery.

Today I'm giving you a gift. A GIFT I tell you.
Earlier this week I posted a photograph of myself aged about 6 in an outfit my mother dressed me in and dared to call fashion.
That was my childhood! It kind of explains a few things.

Anyway, kids. They're bloody brilliant aren't they? Cheeky, chuchy and guaranteed to make you smile.

So, this week's theme is: Children.

Your children, children you know, you as a child, your parents as a child.
Children.
And don't forget to come back on Wednesday to add your link when The Gallery post goes up. Then visit as many of the other entries as you can to see what they've come up with.

Say hi, discover new people, welcome them in when they discover you.

Appreciate the wonderful words and photos that are opening themselves up to you.

The link stays open until the following Tuesday, so don't worry if you don't manage to post your photo on Wednesday.

NEW HERE? NOT SURE HOW TO ENTER?
If you're new here and want to find out what The Gallery is all about and how to enter visit here.
And if you want to make sure you don't miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS or email feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to ...

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The Gallery: Mother Nature

Sometimes Mother Nature isn't the magnificent trees, the spectacular blooms, the monumental mountains. The 'pretty'.
Sometimes Mother Nature is the small things, the things we ignore, dismiss, walk passed.
Like stinging nettles.
Who knew they could be so lovely?

This post is for Week 42 of The Gallery: Mother Nature.
Now go forth and show some big blog love.

If you're new and want to know what The Gallery is, go and read here, and then come right back and join in!
You can also pick up The Gallery code if you want too.

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

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Is there anything more heartwarming than the sound of a child's laughter?

Because horse riding lessons are really quite expensive so we go once a fortnight.
And because she loves it so much.
And because the sound of a child's laughter has to be one of THE most gorgeous sounds in the world.
I agree to be a 'pony':

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Reboot

Hands up who has gorged themselves over Christmas with promises of tucking a couple of weight loss resolutions under that oh-bloody-hell-it’s-expanding belt in the New Year.
Well that was me.

I gorged like I’d never set eyes on such delicious wonders before.
I gorged until I made myself feel sick. And then the next day I would do the same thing again.
Because it was Christmas.
One morning I had a chocolate off the tree for breakfast.

Little by little the treats crept in. Then the walks tailed off. Then more treats crept in.
I hang my head in shame. Not just in front of you my internet conscience, but to myself. I feel like I really let myself down.
I feel totally GREEDY.

I shovelled stuff in because it was there. Because it was rude not to. Because it’s what you do at Christmas.
Yes, yes I had all the lame excuses I could possibly think of.
And now I sit and look at the wobble and the excess flesh and the thick waist and I could cry.

So now I am resolute.
I am determined to get back on my keep fit and weight loss wagon and stop treating my body so shockingly bad.
I need to stop feeling so bloody awful about it all the time and just do it.

I sat on my bed on Christmas morning thinking ‘I’ll wear something nice and bright today, something festive’ but nothing felt right and nothing looked right.
I felt fat and frumpy and miserable. And yet still I ate my body weight in food.
I packed that rubbish away without a second thought as to what it was doing to my arteries. Or my poor face which has broken out in all manner of eruptions.

Seriously folks, I look after my skin like it’s made of thin paper, or gold, or delicately spun spiders webs, but it has taken the full brunt of my gluttony.
So that expensive face cream I treated myself to with the dregs of my birthday money? Bloody useless when it’s up against a sea of fat and sugar and E numbers.

I don’t want to sit on my bed all upset because my favourite clothes don’t fit comfortably. I want to be writing on here that ‘bloody hell, I got into my favourite jeans today’ or ‘hooray, my bust no longer feels like it has a life of it’s own’ (that’s a whole other post altogether though . . . ).

So to everyone who is going through the same as me, be resolute, think about the long-term gain and let's be the person we want to be.

x

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What the hell did you dress me in mother?

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The Gallery: Week 42

Hello and welcome to week 42 of The Gallery.

After the joy of last week's theme Body Parts (eyes, ears, bellies, boobies and - urgh - feet) I thought I'd try to get a bit more beauty onto your blogs (kidding kidding!)

I'm betting lots of people had new cameras over Christmas or have made resolutions to improve their photography or just want to take more photos and record life that little bit more.
So this one is for you.

This week's theme is: MOTHER NATURE.

Get outside, get discovering, get exploring and get clicking.
Sometimes the things we look at every day can make a fabulous photograph - you just need to look through 'Gallery' eyes!
And don't forget to come back on Wednesday to add your link when The Gallery post goes up. Then visit as many of the other entries as you can to see what they've come up with.

Say hi, discover new people, welcome them in when they discover you.

Appreciate the wonderful words and photos that are opening themselves up to you.

The link stays open until the following Tuesday, so don't worry if you don't manage to post your photo on Wednesday.

NEW HERE? NOT SURE HOW TO ENTER?
If you're new here and want to find out what The Gallery is all about and how to enter visit here.
And if you want to make sure you don't miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS or email feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to ...

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My girl. In print

This morning my 5-year-old daughter asked me if she always wore a hat to cover her hair and jeans and a blue top, would people think she was in fact a boy.
Her very favourite outfit is a navy blue top with skull and crossbones on the front and I had to practically restrain her from having a pair of 'boy' school shoes this term.

When I am actually allowed to choose her clothes for the day, she regularly demands that it's something "to make me look like Daniel".

But sometimes, just sometimes, she is so girlie, so utterly munch-ably girlie, that I think I appreciate it all the more.

This thing of beauty now hangs above my daughter's bed to remind her that she is actually a girl.
The photo canvas, sent to us courtesy of Pixum to review, is wonderfully reproduced and vibrant and shows off this fairytale-esque photo perfectly.
And every now and again she glances up at it and says "I want to look like that mummy"
SCORE!

Thanks Pixum for helping to girlify my girl!
The service is really easy to use. Easy to upload your pictures, easy to order and delivery fast and well packaged.

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Hungarian Goulash

I've been really trying to go back to our pre-children mid-week days of cooking a nice hearty meal instead of scoffing something at 9pm in front of the TV.

This was always one of hubby and mine's very favourite recipes; warming, slightly spicy, filling.
It bears scant resemblance to the original recipe - mainly because I got three quarters of the way through and thought, actually?, I think I like it like this.
So I stopped adding stuff (mainly the soured cream, urgh!)
And yes that is a jar of cheat's chillies. What of it?

Anyway. It's delish.

Ingredients
3 tsp oil
1lb lean braising steak cubed
2 onions chopped
2 tbsp Hungarian paprika
1 tbsp plain flour
1 large red pepper chopped
1 red chilli
11floz beef stock
14oz can plum tomatoes
3 floz red wine
salt and black pepper

Method
Heat 2 teaspoons of the oil in a deep frying pan. Brown the meat. When sealed, remove to a plate.
Add rest of oil and stir in the onion until soft.
Add paprika and flour and stir, then add the red pepper, chilli, stock, tomatoes and wine.
Bring to the boil and then tip sauce into a casserole dish. Add meat and stir.
Cook in oven on 170C (Gas 3) for an hour and a half.
Serve with rice. Season to taste.
Done. Yum.

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The Gallery: Body Parts

This is the view of my son I get most nights now.
Just a pair of hands peaking out from behind a book.

He is a total bookworm.
Do you even know how happy it makes me to write that sentence?

He has moved on to 'free reading' at school which basically means he gets to read whatever he likes and I don't have bang my head repeatedly on the kitchen counter as I suffer yet another dullsville school-imposed book.
So his books of choice at the moment are The Spiderwick Chronicles (which he reads with his dad), a Doctor Who tale (which he reads with me) and a Beast Quest book (which he reads on his own).

I've been polishing off my Harry Potter and Narnia collection to share with him; and believe you me, this book nerd (who hasn't let anyone borrow one of her pristine paper or hardbacks since someone FOLDED DOWN THE CORNERS on her copy of Brave New World back in 1998) doesn't share her collection with just anyone.

This post is for Week 41 of The Gallery: Body Parts.
Now go and show some blog love.

If you're new and want to know what The Gallery is, go and read here, and then come right back and join in!
You can also pick up The Gallery code if you want too.

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

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My big boned Wii Mii

Hubby won a black Wii in the office Christmas raffle (I KNOW!) together with the Wii Fit Plus and board.
I may or may not have stroked it when it landed in our living room.
It is a thing of beauty and is now allowed to sit next to the TV instead of being banished behind the curtains because the 'normal' one is so white.
To say this household is slightly obsessed with the Wii would be to put it very very mildly!

A couple of years ago, both hubby and I opted for no presents at Christmas, kept the children’s stockings very minimal, and asked Santa if he would treat the family to a Nintendo Wii.
We were converted.
Dan, who was six at the time, thrashed his pa at boxing. Constantly.
And I had the pleasure of beating my 16-year-old nephew at bowling.
Little pleasures.
Then we discovered Mario Kart and this year Dan had Guitar Hero for his 8th birthday: A contender for one of the best family bonding games EVER.
(Yes, yes, your eyes don't deceive you, Dan put the stickers on upside down!)

But this post isn't about the blood, sweat and tears I've shed trying to be a drummer on that thing.
No, this post is about my new Wii Fit and the fact that it has me hula hooping, boxing, jogging and doing Downward Dog (hush now, it's a yoga posture) every single day.
Did you hear that? I'm exercising every day.

My motivation? The bloody Wii Mii it created (the character to represent you on this keep fit journey) - honestly, it's enough to send me off on a Forrest Gump-esque run, never stopping until the weeble before my eyes with a white outfit on (they put me in white for heaven's sake) has slimmed down significantly.
Yea gods, it's horrendous having to look at that every time I work out.

I'm also convinced my Wii board groans every time I step on it. Or is that me being paranoid?

Anyway, love the thing. Don't love it enough to post a photo of my Wii Mii though, so don't bother asking.

UPDATE: I've been pressured in the comments and on Twitter to post a picture. So here is my Wii Mii in Kung Fu mode. In a forgiving tunic. Working out next to two pensioners on the right with Wii wrinkles. Sheesh, I'm not THAT bad.

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The Gallery: Week 41

Hello and welcome to week 41 of The Gallery.

Salute to the new year, and after a mini break I'm totally not going to be kind and give you an easy theme.
Oh no no no no. You want to start 2011 with a bang, don't you?
I had to take a break to recover from all your wonderfulness during 2010. Seriously, the photos and stories you shared were just gorgeous: touching, awe inspiring, funny, sad.
But I think the best thing to come out of The Gallery, the most heartwarming, is that we all got to know each other that little bit better.
Some of the posts on Self Portrait . . . well, you guys should all be very proud of yourselves.

So this week I'm taking you down a whole other path. You have Twitter to blame for the Gallery theme.
Specifically @cosmicgirlie @muddynosugar and @and1moremeans5 who MADE me do it after someone posted a picture of their bottom in a Tweet and then we got into a conversation about body parts and I said that it was on my list of possible Gallery themes and they all yelled "DO IT!"

So there you go, this week's theme is: BODY PARTS.

Yours, someone else's - it doesn't even have to be human if you don't want . . .

Really kind of nervous about what you're going to come up with, but I have every confidence in you!

Now get clicky clicking - and don't forget to come back on Wednesday to add your link and visit everyone else's entries.

And as ever, once the links go up, visit as many others as you can, say hi, discover new people, welcome them in when they discover you.

Appreciate the wonderful words and photos that are opening themselves up to you.

The link stays open until the following Tuesday, so don't worry if you don't manage to post your photo on Wednesday.

NEW HERE? NOT SURE HOW TO ENTER?
If you're new here and want to find out what The Gallery is all about and how to enter visit here.
And if you want to make sure you don't miss any prompts or entries in future, make sure you subscribe to my RSS or email feed.

Go on, clicky click away, you know you want to ...

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One day . . .

One of the first bloggers I ever started reading back in the day has hung up her pinny and gone in search of a 'real life'.
So in honour of the lovely Millennium Housewife I am paying homage to one of her posts. By which I mean I am stealing her idea and using it for myself.
*Ahem*

One day I will be able to eat a whole biscuit to myself without a little monster nibbling at the edges.

One day I won't have to pick up muddy, wet socks from under the bed.

One day I won't be used as a child's personal handkerchief.

One day I won't have to rock a very tall five year old to sleep when she's feeling 'slightly under the weather'.

One day I won't have to clean yoghurt off the TV/curtains/office chair.

One day I won't get blamed for everything bad that happens.

One day I will be able to go to the toilet alone.

One day I won't have to constantly be told how funny trumping is. Or how funny being able to control your own willy with just your mind is.

One day I will be able to buy chocolate and not have to hide it. *

BUT

One day I won't hold warm little hands on the school run.

One day I won't be the 'most beautiful mummy in the world'.

One day the sound of children's laughter won't wake me in the morning.

One day I won't get big, gangly little boy hugs. Or a little girl creeping into my lap and tucking her head into my neck. 




One day my two children will be out there, forging ahead in the world, and I will crave for these days again.

* Oh who am I kidding? That will NEVER happen.

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Dynamic Duo

My little girl knows how lucky she is to have a big brother who is happy to play with her despite the 3-year age gap; read to her; hook up his DS to hers; let her cuddle up in his bed for a bedtime story.
She is growing up with a ready-made best friend and it shows in her confidence and zest for life.
What you can't see is that after this bottom picture was taken, Mia socked him one in the side of the head and told him he's a "poo head".
You can't have EVERYTHING.

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Do you need to be skinny to be successful?

Like it or loathe it, celebrity culture has a massive impact on our everyday lives.
Personally I loathe it.

When the likes of Victoria Beckham, or Gwyneth Paltrow, or Angelina Jolie appear perfectly groomed and squeezed into a pair of uber skinny jeans mere weeks after giving birth, us mums can’t help but feel a little peeved.
Sure we all know it’s totally ridiculous and that those women who appear in glossy magazines a matter of weeks after giving birth claiming that breastfeeding or motherhood or some other mystical force that was never bestowed on us mere mortals has magically made them shed every ounce of baby weight, are well, they are lying.
Nothing to do with the $500 an hour personal trainer whipping their ass into shape.
We all know that. And yet we still kick ourselves and berate ourselves that we should be able to do it too.
I’m sure I could look like I’d just stepped off the pages of Hello magazine if I had a lipo surgeon on speed dial, a personal chef and my own in-house spray tan booth.

And it’s not just the new mums with a baby belly to shed who have been setting this frightening trend.
Shockingly, it seems you cannot be a rising star these days unless you shed every ounce of fat and – more shockingly – become ‘talk about’ thin. Sometimes skeletal, unhealthily thin.
It seems the old saying: “You can never be too rich, or too skinny” is the mantra of many these days.

I hate it.
I'm curvy, I like being curvy. I think the world is a better place for having women of all shapes and sizes: one size does not fit all.
Sure I'd like to lose some poundage, but I don't want to lose 'me'.

The UK's current on/off media darling Cheryl Cole has been bleating about how she needs to lose weight to 'make' it in America. Lose weight? Seriously?
Famously, an agent told aspiring actress Jennifer Aniston to shed 30lb or she wouldn't amount to anything, which she did and landed the part of Rachel in Friends.
And don’t even get me started on the car crash that is the UK's bevy of Z-list slebs.

What message does this send to women everywhere?
Sure, I want to be slimmer, but I don’t want my collarbones to show.
Does this mean I’m never going to get anywhere in life? Does this make me a failure because I carry a bit of meat on my bones?
All these too-skinny-for-their-own-good celebrities are wearing a bit thin now (sorry!).
The tyranny of thinness has gone too far.
I know some of them don't intend to look like a bag of bones. That their lives are stressful and that it can take it's toll on their diet.
But when they are held up as shining examples of womanhood it doesn't look good.

Am I over reacting or are we being subjected to an unhealthy picture of perfection?
And what about the young girls for whom these women are role models?
What about my little girl growing up in a world where size 14 is considered 'hefty' in our glorious media?

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How to win nominations for Best Parent Ever

We let the children stay up with us to welcome in 2011 this year.
Best decision ever.
When we told them, it was like we were announcing we were having a rerun of Christmas. THAT is how excited they were.
Dan listened wide-eyed in wonder. His little sister excited by the sheer fact that he was excited so it MUST be good!

After a long soak in the bath, they donned PJs, came back downstairs and we played bingo together, ate chocolate goodies, sipped 'cocktails' and then took to the newly-acquired Guitar Hero for some hard rockin.

At the age of 8, Dan thrashed the pants of the lot of us. On every instrument.
And it's not for lack of trying. Oh man I SWEATED playing those drums. It is tough.
I know we're about a million years late on discovering this magnificent game, but I think every family should own one for bonding sessions.
Easily the best laugh we've had in ages.
I mean just look at her. And no Heat magazine, you can't have this photo of her when she becomes famous!

Sure we've paid for it today with grumpy behaviour, but this is easily one of the best decisions we made.
Sharing the dawn of a new year; a new decade, with your children is an absolute joy.

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